So Long, My Luckless Romance/My Back is Turned on You

"Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes"- A Fine Frenzy

Thumbs Up- Spring is on its way!
Thumbs Down- My romance life.


I.Am.Done. This time it's for real. I'm tired of giving little pieces of my heart to guys. Recap since my last post, Nick and I had it out. Formal date is off. I honestly could care less. I've almost gotten to the point where I am completely numb to any feelings or anything heart-wrenching.
Last night, a boy we will call A, came over. Well, he was too drunk to drive home, and I am apparently a nice person now (WTF?!) and let him stay. It's 1:30 in the morning, and I really wanted to sleep. But I CANNOT allow anyone to drive drunk. He told me I was the only person who gave a damn enough about him to care if he made it home or not. So, I was prepared to let him watch my TV and for me to pass back out. A had other plans. We talked. He told me more about his life and asked if I hated him. I said I should, and he said I shouldn't and asked if I would please not hate him. Too late. I really really really want to hate him for leading me on. Look, I know I made a mistake not dating you the first go round. However, A had just broken up with his girlfriend of 5 years. I am NO ONE's rebound. I just didn't know if his feelings were real or if he was just hurt. Oh, they were real. I blamed myself for a long time, but now it's getting to the point where the situation is annoying, and I'm no longer caring.
I've tried. Really. A treats me like his girlfriend, which I'm tired of. You can't have it both ways. I'm just done with this. Done. Done. Done. I have shiz to do with my life, and I'm not going to keep pretending I'm okay with A when I'm not. If he needs to walk out of my life, I hope the door hits his ass on the way out.