And so broken in
She's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed
I want you back
"Comfortable"- John Mayer
(Substitute "she's" for "he's."
I think about these lyrics more than I should. This past summer, I finally ended things with my long time boyfriend. After 2 1/2 years together, I guess he realized he wanted someone else. Not talking to him since June has actually been a good thing for me. I realized how dependent I was on him. Looking back, I can't believe I let someone have that much control over me. By not talking to him, no communication, nothing whatsoever, caused me to fully stand on my own feet. Since then, I quit depending on people, and I quit catering to people's needs over my own. I AM NOT a security blanket. If you have a problem, please come to me. I really quit saying what people want to hear. I mean, where is that going to get you in the long run? As your friend, I would hope you would want me to be completely honest with you. I would never do anything to downright hurt someone's feelings, even though people tend to think that of me. I'm sorry, but I'm a strong person, which is why I've made it this far, and is why I will continue to succeed. I can't let small things/events hurt me anymore. Life is too short. You want to be mad at me? Ok. As Garth Brooks put it, "I've never found what I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down. I can walk away from anyone I ever knew." It's a strong statement to make, but I cannot allow myself to go back to a relationship or friendship where I cannot be myself. This mindset is probably the reason why I have few close friends, but I prefer it that way. If we can grow together as friends and be honest with each other, then I view that as a success. I don't have the time to build your self-confidence over and over. Hence why it's called SELF- confidence. Don't misunderstand me, I'm true to my friends. I'm probably the most loyal person. No one messes with my friends.
On a lighter note, since Thanksgiving is 10 days away, here is # 10 on my list of things I'm thankful for.
#10- Starbucks coffee. I actually have this cup :]
You can't see it, but I'm giving you a standing ovation for this post. :) You're amazing and I hope you know that. And you really are one of the most loyal people I know.
ReplyDeleteAnd ironically enough, as I was reading this and listening to my iTunes library, Reba was on. And when Reba finished, Blake Shelton came on. I saw the humor in it. <3