He's A Good Time, Cowboy Casanova

It's March! Happy happy happy!
It's getting closer to Spring, which makes this girl REALLY happy. I love winter (clothes), but it's time to break out the sunshine (cute dresses).
Spring just makes me a happier person in general.
The only slightly downside is that I'm heading closer to graduation.
I don't have a job, I haven't finished applying to grad school, so I'm just not sure where my life is heading.
I'm praying and asking God to lead my life. I hate to admit that I'm frustrated, but I know everything will work out.
Maybe I should go to Chile and help out. My Spanish is decent enough that I could make conversation and not be completely lost.

I need a job.

I Know About Mandy Cause Mandy You Never Forget/ If She was a Blonde I'd Tell Her Go Home/ But Mandy's a Brunette

I have 2 weeks.
2 weeks to work my butt off as much as I possibly can for Spring Break.

I've also been doing really well with Lent. I haven't eaten or drank anything I wasn't supposed to, even on Sundays. I know giving up fried food is probably going to turn into a full time deal. I honestly don't like fried food but eat it because 1) I live in the South and 2) it's the easiest option. By not having fried food, it forces me to look at alternative foods. This has turned into a life alternating process. I'm hoping to stick with this new regiment.

PS- I'm going to the following workout classes this week
Killer Core
Cycling
Namaste Cycling
Pedal and Pump

Plus the usual running I do. Let's see how this works!

Gravity/It's working against me/Gravity/Oh It Wants to Bring Me Down

This is a line from my favorite John Mayer song. I prefer the live version, all 9 minutes of it. John's sultry voice and amazing guitar skills get me every time.
Yesterday, I ventured to church, where I haven't gone sans mi familia in a long time. I've never particularly been fond of church growing up and even up until recently. I go with my mom when I'm home only because I never wanted her to go alone or with just my sister. However, I've recently begun to actually enjoy church. I think I've finally realized how BLESSED I am. I've complained and been through so many difficult obstacles that I've never sat back and realized I've pulled through each situation. I played the woe is me card for far too long. My life could be a great deal worse, but here I am. Still standing. Each day is a blessing, I have the ability to wake up, function for myself, attend a university, pursue a college degree, have a family, have great friends, and still have some sanity about me. Sure, my life is greatly different than how I pictured it. Yet, I feel I had to make this unexpected journey to find myself and to find purpose. I may still be looking, but firmly believe the hands of God are here to direct me further to wherever He sees me. I just feel a sense of calm and optimism that I let go a LONG time ago.

On a side note, Lent is going well. Not having Coke is probably the worst part. I think I'm having caffeine withdrawals. My head hurts a lot, and I constantly feel I want to hurl. It's been almost a week, so hopefully my body will adjust more by this Wednesday.

So Long, My Luckless Romance/My Back is Turned on You

"Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes"- A Fine Frenzy

Thumbs Up- Spring is on its way!
Thumbs Down- My romance life.


I.Am.Done. This time it's for real. I'm tired of giving little pieces of my heart to guys. Recap since my last post, Nick and I had it out. Formal date is off. I honestly could care less. I've almost gotten to the point where I am completely numb to any feelings or anything heart-wrenching.
Last night, a boy we will call A, came over. Well, he was too drunk to drive home, and I am apparently a nice person now (WTF?!) and let him stay. It's 1:30 in the morning, and I really wanted to sleep. But I CANNOT allow anyone to drive drunk. He told me I was the only person who gave a damn enough about him to care if he made it home or not. So, I was prepared to let him watch my TV and for me to pass back out. A had other plans. We talked. He told me more about his life and asked if I hated him. I said I should, and he said I shouldn't and asked if I would please not hate him. Too late. I really really really want to hate him for leading me on. Look, I know I made a mistake not dating you the first go round. However, A had just broken up with his girlfriend of 5 years. I am NO ONE's rebound. I just didn't know if his feelings were real or if he was just hurt. Oh, they were real. I blamed myself for a long time, but now it's getting to the point where the situation is annoying, and I'm no longer caring.
I've tried. Really. A treats me like his girlfriend, which I'm tired of. You can't have it both ways. I'm just done with this. Done. Done. Done. I have shiz to do with my life, and I'm not going to keep pretending I'm okay with A when I'm not. If he needs to walk out of my life, I hope the door hits his ass on the way out.

I'll Be Captivated, I'll Hang from Your Lips

Yesterday is a day many of us are familiar with: Ash Wednesday. So it begins, the 40 days of Lent. This year, I have given up cokes, fried food, and liquor. These are probably things I should give up in general, but I suppose Lent is a great reason to let them go. Last night also began my further commitment to my faith and devotion to God. I know I talk ridiculous and say things I probably shouldn't say, but my faith has never wavered. My relationship with God has been the foundation and the healing I needed to get through these past months. I feel selfish. God has provided, and I have been greedy, needy, and not completely devoted to being in His presence. I honestly feel my life is happier and less complicated as I spend more time basked in His glory and surrounded by people who share my beliefs. For Ash Wednesday's service, my friends and I went to the campus Catholic church. I should point out that none of us are Catholic (3 Methodists and a Baptist). As a Methodist, we basically perform the same acts and traditions, so the service wasn't too unfamiliar. We decided to go to the Catholic church because they were the only ones having service so late at night so all of us could attend. I just felt compelled to readmit and re-dedicate my life to God. I have been meaning to go to church more often, but I am dedicated to doing it this time. I don't feel church makes one person better than another Christian, but I feel it helps keep someone in tune with his or her Christian faith. The Lord has provided so much for me, the least I can do is continue my faith.
On a side note, I hung out with my friend Ben tonight. I may sort of, kind of, maybe have a thing for his roommate. However, since Ben and Nick have stopped speaking to each other, it makes it complicated to say hello to Nick when I'm leaving their apartment. I think Ben expects me to choose sides. Nick has never personally done anything bad to me, so I cannot NOT like him. I don't know what's going on with them, as Ben will not say. Nick has made several attempts to reach out, but this friendship may finally be at a closing point. Nick texted me after I left saying he didn't want to be awkward and have Ben waiting for me. I replied Ben can be territorial but he doesn't own me. If I want to talk to Nick, I will. Ben knows my feelings for Nick, though he doesn't understand them. Nick replied, yeah now you know why I don't date girls who are friends with Ben. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?! Could there be something with me and Nick? Does he like me?
Did I mention I'm taking Nick to my sorority's formal?
This is where a margarita would really come in handy.

10 Celebrity Crushes

1) Channing Tatum
Channing first stole my heart in "Step Up." Who doesn't love a man who can dance and has that swagger to him? He's also a good Southern boy, which doesn't hurt ;]

2) Gerard Butler
First fell in love with Mr. Butler in "P.S. I Love You." Scottish, rugged, and a bit of a B.A. with a nice heart? Yes, please.











3) Chris Klein
I really think Chris Klein was my first celebrity crush. In "American Pie" he was the cute and lovable Oz, and I was determined that all my boyfriends would look and act just like him. Haven't succeeded so far, but I'm still patiently waiting :] PS- Looking at pictures of him still makes me giddy. Where is he now??

4) Kellan Lutz
Dear Sweet Lord. Kellan continues my quest for a buff, baby-faced boyfriend. He looks like a nice guy who would do anything for me, but beat someone's ass at the same time. While most girls swooned over Edward, my heart belonged to Emmett.
























5) Caleb Followill - While most of my crushes tend to have baby faces, Caleb was probably my first venture into ruggedness. When KOL first came out, he had really long hair, which was fine with me. 2 years ago, he finally cut it and started growing a beard. Let's just say, I greatly approve.













6) Prince Harry - Rebellion and gingers. 2 of my favorite things. Plus, he's a PRINCE. What's not to love?












7) Ed Westwick - Further continues my love of the Brits. Ed is like the British version of Caleb. Dirty. Rugged. Doesn't care attitude. AND he's on one of my absolute favorite TV shows.










8) Eli Manning - When Eli played for Ole Miss, I fell in love. Being a Bama fan, I could never outright cheer for the Rebels. However, I did watch a bit more Ole Miss football than I should. Just to see him at the end of the game, removing his helmet, sweat pressed to forehead....wait, sorry about that ;]

9) Dale Earnhardt, Jr. - another athlete, if you consider NASCAR a sport. Dale Jr may not be that awesome of a driver, but he's a ginger and pretty to look at. Plus, he's probably cuss you out if you messed with him. Ginger, SOuthern, and Rugged. OH jeez....

10)Chris Andersen- Finally, to round out the athlete category: Birdman. Okay, I get a lot of crap for this one, but in my defense, he's not that bad. He's cute and a bit showy, but that's just part of his court showmanship. He does so much for the Denver community and seems like a pretty nice guy. I can also never turn down a cute guy with tattoos and a nice body :]

Move On Like a Sinner's Prayer

The Day after Valentine's Day report: Still the same.
I have never understood the meaning of this "holiday." First, if you consider this a "holiday" why not put it on a weekday and let me out of school? Instead, I witness men running to the mall at the last minute to find a random gift for their girlfriend/wife/mom whatever. Is that the point? To find a gift, last minute, so you can feel better about this day and so I won't complain too much? Thanks, but no thanks. I see love completely different. Love to me is changing my car oil without me asking and because you know I would appreciate it. Love is helping me box my room so I can move faster. It's pumping my gas so I don't have to get out in the cold. It's opening a door, it's holding my hand, it's forehead kisses. People put so much emphasis on material love. That kind of love is easy to find. The hard part is finding a person who respects, understands, and shares your dreams, beliefs, hopes for the future, and maybe one day, your life. People are in such a hurry to marry and find love because everyone around them claims to be doing so. I would rather wait for the right person to come along. If I don't meet that person until I'm 28, then so be it. By then, I'll be set in my ways so he will never have to worry about change or too much growth. It's a wait I'm willing to make.

And I go /Stand up to a giant/ Say that I'm a fighter

I've been sitting at the desk for almost 4 hours now. During this time, I'd usually play on Facebook or find something random on the internet. However, I have been rather productive. I started a paper that's due next week, and I began preparing myself for my history discussion on Wednesday. I turned 23 yesterday, and it wasn't as bad as I thought. When I turned 22, I FELT it. It was like I took a huge leap from one cliff to the next. Turning 23, however, wasn't that hard. I still FEEL the same. But turning 23 has also made me realize it's time to move on. It's time to graduate and see what else the world has to offer me. There are still several things I want to do with my life, but I suppose having so many interests can lead me anywhere :]